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helsinki files

by Milena Solomun

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1.
the only things that I am left with are scissors and spoons I have drunk all the rum and eaten all the food the only things that I am left with are scissors and spoons I deleted my songs erased all my moods the only things I am left with are scissors and spoons there's no forks and no knives no guns, no balloons the only things I am left with are scissors and spoons there's no sun and no soap no stars and no glue only scissors and spoons the only things I am left with are scissors and spoons got no fingers to cross no face to be bruised the only things that I am left with are scissors and spoons there's no trees and no grass no snow and no you the only things that I am left with are scissors and spoons chairs and tables long gone my ideas all misused the only things that I'm left with are scissors and spoons no more damage to be done nothing to pull through only scissors and spoons
2.
my shoes they have big holes and my mind it has holes too my toes they are so frozen and my thoughts are frozen too my feet they are so restless and my heart is restless too my eyes are red and swollen and the sky is swollen too this place is oh so random and random is all I knew life it teaches you crap and crap divides in two and this is what the neighbors sing: life it is impossible yeah it isn't possible my prison, it has no walls and my mind has no walls too the inmates are all so tired and the guard is tired too my demons they look like angels and angels they look like you people pray to gods but gods are helpless too and this is what the angels sing: life it is impossible yeah it isn't possible my sugar it tastes like salt and life tastes salty too once you find a clump of gold just paint it red and blue take a trip to the dead sea and float until you're due there in the salty waters the creatures will sing to you and this is what the creatures sing: life it is impossible yeah it isn't possible
3.
not growing 01:32
The world is growing in front of me trees are growing in front of me the kids are growing in front of me its only me who is not growing. Streets are growing in front of me Cities are growing in front of me The world is growing in front of me its only me who is not growing. Stars are falling in front of me people are crawling in front of me habits are growing in front of me its only me who is not growing. Kids get beaten in front of me violence, so sweet, in front of me money is growing in front of me its only me who is not growing. Words are growing in front of me words too big to mean a thing things are thriving in front of me its only me who is not thriving Faces so fed up in front of me rooms too small to hide a thief the world is growing in front of me its only me who is not growing.
4.
helsinki 04:02
I'm walking through walls I'm digging new holes I'm making new friends they help me to cope I'm walking on roofs talking to birds I'm making new friends they know this city well I'm walking on clouds they take me around and high from above I just fall down and roll I'm walking on glass flying first class I'm licking my wounds I'm gonna make this work I wont smile on demand but I'll smile till the end I'm making new friends they know this city well and they'll take me around let me walk underground oh, I really like this place I might unpack and stay
5.
I was afraid that you would stay but you're already far away I was afraid that you would talk and talk but you kept your mouth shut I was afraid that this would be bad but it's actually just oh so mad I was afraid that you would stay and become my worst enemy but then you left and you smashed my windows when you left and you scratched my eyes out when you left and you fed poison to my cat and you burned down my flat well I'll remember you I was afraid that you would want more but you kept hiding behind locked doors I was afraid that you would sink but you built a shining ship I was afraid that you would cry but never have I seen a tear in your eye I was afraid that you would hang from the ceiling and it would bend but then you left and you smashed my windows when you left and you scratched my eyes out when you left and you fed poison to my cat and you burned down my flat well I'll remember you I was afraid that you wouldn't let go but you had already hit the road I was afraid that you would come back so I stayed put and never left I was afraid of being afraid and told you that I just don't give a shit I just hoped that this might end but it has never begun instead cause then you left and you smashed my windows when you left and you scratched my eyes out when you left and you fed poison to my cat and you burned down my flat well I'll remember you I promise I'll do
6.
strange fall 02:21
a strange fall into the person that I had been a strange fall into the fears I fear the most a strange fall in the second when you told me a strange fall let's just be friends, let's just be friends a strange fall when I looked into the mirror a strange fall my little boy my little boy a strange fall when I open up the newspapers a strange fall I feel the war I feel the war a strange kick from all the years and all the pain within a strange kick I can always make a joke a strange kick from leaving everything behind a strange kick from being alone from being alone a strange kick from having no home, no place to go a strange kick from no money and no sleep a strange kick from saying anything is fine with me a strange kick anything is fine with me
7.
happy 02:10
you gotta be happy by yourself you gotta be happy from within you gotta be happy by yourself you gotta be strong and content you gotta have dreams up your ass you gotta invest in yourself you better invest you gotta feel sorry for the planet you gotta eat healthy and take a walk you gotta get fed up and explode you gotta break in half – do the trick you gotta want destruction, gotta want pain you gotta be forcibly removed you gotta be removed, man
8.
true love 03:30
I was sitting on my chair looking around for something to happen and nothing happened and I was sitting on my chair I was lying in my bed looking around for something to happen and nothing happened and I was lying in my bed I was walking down the street looking around for something to happen and nothing happened and I kept walking down the street and I moved to another town looking around for something to happen and nothing happened and I just moved to another town and I got myself a job knowing that nothing will happen and nothing happened and I got myself a job then one day late in june nothing laughed and started talking and then we cuddled and nothing felt so warm and sweet warm and sweet nothing held me so tight and I said: I'll love you forever and nothing nodded and knew that my love was true love.... was... true true... love
9.
jos oot 02:37
jos oot hukassa sitten voidaan olla yhdessä jos et oo hukassa mua ei kiinnosta jos oot pulassa sitten voidaan kyllä hengailla jos et oo pulassa mua ei kiinnosta jos oot pihalla sitten voidaan jutella mut jos et oo pihalla mua ei kiinnosta jos sul on velkoja sitten voidaan tuhlaa rahoja jos sul on rahoja mua ei kiinnosta jos oot ristiriidassa sit mä saatan rakastua jos oot järjissäsi mua ei kiinnosta jos sua pelottaa kyl me voidaan jotain keksiä mut jos sua ei pelota sit mä en tajua jos oot jumissa voidaan yhdessä jumittaa mut jos et oo jumissa mua ei kiinnosta jos oot sellainen joka pyrkii kaaokseen sit oot ainutlaatuinen ja oot mun hetkisen.

about

recorded by Kowa Zoo at Blue Floor, Helsinki, June 2016

credits

released November 17, 2016

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about

Milena Solomun Helsinki, Finland

Born in Belgrade, raised in Berlin, based in Helsinki.

Cooking simple songs that stick to your soles.

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